My name is Alex, I'm a guru here at Shopify!
So sorry to hear that you're having trouble, and I absolutely understand your frustration. Shopify Payments, like many payment gateways, does require a checking account with a bank to deposit your funds into. While there isn't currently a way to set up other payout options for Shopify Payments, you're absolutely welcome to simply accept payment via PayPal - lots of our merchants do!
There's more information on setting that up in our guide right over here - while some customers do appreciate the choice between paying via PayPal and directly on your site using their credit card number, there's nothing preventing you from using PayPal only.
Hope that's helped! Please feel free to let me know, and you can always give us a call or start a live chat at any time. We're open 24/7 for your convenience and always happy to assist!
Alex | Shopify Guru