launch day feedback

Solved
fefecosmetics
Excursionist
27 2 6

Hi Everyone,

I looking to launch my store within two weeks. However, I'm a little bothered by our "About Us " page. I think the  information is too long and it doesn't appear to be authentic to me. I used a content writer, whom I trust. Can you please take a look and give me some feedback? I'd love to hear what you think about the page and or if you have any suggestions, I'll appreciate it. 

 

Please only feedback on the "About Us Page" all other pages are work in  progress. Thank you all, 

Here the password 3519

https://fefecosmetics.com/password 

Accepted Solutions (4)

Accepted Solutions
Dirk
Shopify Staff
Shopify Staff
1730 209 386

This is an accepted solution.

Hey, @fefecosmetics 

I actually like the content (words) of the about us page. Where I think you can improve upon it, is by formatting and laying it out in a way that is more digestible and aesthetically pleasing. We actually have a free guide here on how to build a great about us page. In there, you will also find some useful templates and examples to use for inspiration on improving yours.

If there is anything else I can help you with, please let me know.

Dirk | Social Care @ Shopify 
 - Was my reply helpful? Click Like to let me know! 
 - Was your question answered? Mark it as an Accepted Solution
 - To learn more visit the Shopify Help Center or the Shopify Blog

View solution in original post

PageFly-Victor
Shopify Partner
4522 748 2102

This is an accepted solution.

Hi @fefecosmetics 

This is PageFly - Landing Page Builder. I would love to provide my recommendations for your store based on 6 years of providing solutions for about 100.000 active Shopify merchants.

About your About us page, I think the content is good, but to make it more appealing and authentic, image and layout should be improved as @Dirk said. People don't usually read, they skim. And in order to make a long lasting impression and build trust, I highly recommend you to try another layout for the About us page.

Here is one example of our About us template https://pagefly.link/XFPDMFxf On this page, we have:

- 1 section about the store owner: displaying the picture of yourself could be very helpful in creating trust as your visitors see a human face, just quickly tell who you are and why you are doing this

- 1 section about the brand story: how did you start? If you have any business traction, you can show there as well.

- 1 section about the highlights of your products (why people should by from you)
You can use our template (we have some more for About us page) in our Free plan and see how it goes.

I did also browse your store and have some suggestions:

- The subscription form on Home page & footer: since people might not see why they should stay connected with you, clearly mention the discount might get you more leads (and the form in the footer is showing up site wide

PageFly_0-1636421657268.png

- I don't know if you add the Affiliate form by purpose or it is an error right now, but it doesn't seem to be displayed correctly, plus 3 forms show up in a row and you have 2 different forms might confuse the visitors

PageFly_1-1636421799163.png

- Please check your cart drawer, after I added something to cart and viewed, it showed up like this:

PageFly_2-1636421904864.png

- I also think, it isn't very helpful when you have all 3 buttons on the cart as it could be confusing as well, all 3 are very outstanding. Keeping Check out only and may tell them other payments method are available at checkout can encourage they go on.

- I found some of your products have only 1 or 2 images, I highly recommend you have 2 or 3 more images as many people rely heavily on visual elements to get full sense of the product and decide to purchase or not

- I am sure you already have some plan to do some promotion or free shipping: let's make them visible on, let's say, an announcement bar, or show time limit for any discount of special gifts / benefits.

My final suggestion is showing certifications (product quality) and more social proof. Just from my own experience, I'd be extremely careful when it comes to buy something to put on my face. They can be shown on the home page, about us page, and you can direct a link from your product page to the page where you show your testimonials and certifications. 

 

Above are my suggestions, I wish you a successful launching. If you find my comments useful, please let me know by giving me a Like.

Thank you so much and I wish you the best of luck!

PageFly.

---

P/S: In case you wonder what PageFly can do for you in this holiday season, let's check this out.

 

If it’s helpful to you, please let me know by giving it a like or marking it as a solution.


PageFly #1 Shopify Landing Page Builder - Free to use, 24/7 Live Chat Support.


Hesitate to begin? Check out our top brands with successful stories with PageFly’s Case Studies.

View solution in original post

LuckyDanny
Shopify Partner
352 67 211

This is an accepted solution.

Hey there, @fefecosmetics!  

Great question, and you’ve come to the right place. Before I answer your question, I have another question: What is your goal for the About Us page? 

Traditionally, About Us tells the story behind your brand. It explains who you are, what matters to you, what you do, and how you do it. Remembering your goal of the About Us page will give your content writer more instruction.

Right now, this reads more like a blog post or a mission statement. It’s not that this is poorly written, but it’s not a fit for the About Us page. These can be sprinkled throughout your homepage, landing page, product pages, etc., in some fashion. 

Instead, I would try this: Focus on your goal. Why did you create FeFe Cosmetics? If that’s your photo, I would recreate it in a more approachable way and not as posed. Tell your story. 

Something like (I took some creative liberties since I don’t know your background): 

FeFe Cosmetics was created by three makeup-loving best friends who share one goal: Help anyone and everyone use makeup to flaunt their unique individuality and boldly enhance their own natural beauty. To accomplish this, we’ve assembled a team of makeup enthusiasts who know the power of that perfect red lipstick or a killer cat eye. They work hard to find and procure makeup that meet our high standards to provide everything you need to be a more confident, powerful you. 

Obviously this may not be your story, but the point is to paint more of a picture of who you are rather than what you do. Disclosure: I had to get help from my wife, because I know nothing about makeup. 

Back to the point - SHOW a picture too. Bring it full circle. When you tell people what you want them to feel, you’re missing that people come to the About Page to learn about YOU.  Tell your story. This is the chance to share your background. 

I hope this helps! Good luck!

Cheers - Danny

I’m the co-founder of Lucky Orange, one of the top recommended Shopify apps to grow sales. More than 26,000+ merchants use our app and have left us more than 600 5-star reviews.

We’re also proud to be a Shopify Plus partner.

-Was my response helpful? Click Like to let me know!
-Was your question answered? Mark it as an Accepted Solution!

View solution in original post

fefecosmetics
Excursionist
27 2 6

This is an accepted solution.

Thanks for the information Dirk. After reviewing the guide I agree with you, the wording is okay but the layout definitely need improvement. I will work on this or have someone organize it better for me. Thanks again, this was very useful.

View solution in original post

Replies 8 (8)
Dirk
Shopify Staff
Shopify Staff
1730 209 386

This is an accepted solution.

Hey, @fefecosmetics 

I actually like the content (words) of the about us page. Where I think you can improve upon it, is by formatting and laying it out in a way that is more digestible and aesthetically pleasing. We actually have a free guide here on how to build a great about us page. In there, you will also find some useful templates and examples to use for inspiration on improving yours.

If there is anything else I can help you with, please let me know.

Dirk | Social Care @ Shopify 
 - Was my reply helpful? Click Like to let me know! 
 - Was your question answered? Mark it as an Accepted Solution
 - To learn more visit the Shopify Help Center or the Shopify Blog

PageFly-Victor
Shopify Partner
4522 748 2102

This is an accepted solution.

Hi @fefecosmetics 

This is PageFly - Landing Page Builder. I would love to provide my recommendations for your store based on 6 years of providing solutions for about 100.000 active Shopify merchants.

About your About us page, I think the content is good, but to make it more appealing and authentic, image and layout should be improved as @Dirk said. People don't usually read, they skim. And in order to make a long lasting impression and build trust, I highly recommend you to try another layout for the About us page.

Here is one example of our About us template https://pagefly.link/XFPDMFxf On this page, we have:

- 1 section about the store owner: displaying the picture of yourself could be very helpful in creating trust as your visitors see a human face, just quickly tell who you are and why you are doing this

- 1 section about the brand story: how did you start? If you have any business traction, you can show there as well.

- 1 section about the highlights of your products (why people should by from you)
You can use our template (we have some more for About us page) in our Free plan and see how it goes.

I did also browse your store and have some suggestions:

- The subscription form on Home page & footer: since people might not see why they should stay connected with you, clearly mention the discount might get you more leads (and the form in the footer is showing up site wide

PageFly_0-1636421657268.png

- I don't know if you add the Affiliate form by purpose or it is an error right now, but it doesn't seem to be displayed correctly, plus 3 forms show up in a row and you have 2 different forms might confuse the visitors

PageFly_1-1636421799163.png

- Please check your cart drawer, after I added something to cart and viewed, it showed up like this:

PageFly_2-1636421904864.png

- I also think, it isn't very helpful when you have all 3 buttons on the cart as it could be confusing as well, all 3 are very outstanding. Keeping Check out only and may tell them other payments method are available at checkout can encourage they go on.

- I found some of your products have only 1 or 2 images, I highly recommend you have 2 or 3 more images as many people rely heavily on visual elements to get full sense of the product and decide to purchase or not

- I am sure you already have some plan to do some promotion or free shipping: let's make them visible on, let's say, an announcement bar, or show time limit for any discount of special gifts / benefits.

My final suggestion is showing certifications (product quality) and more social proof. Just from my own experience, I'd be extremely careful when it comes to buy something to put on my face. They can be shown on the home page, about us page, and you can direct a link from your product page to the page where you show your testimonials and certifications. 

 

Above are my suggestions, I wish you a successful launching. If you find my comments useful, please let me know by giving me a Like.

Thank you so much and I wish you the best of luck!

PageFly.

---

P/S: In case you wonder what PageFly can do for you in this holiday season, let's check this out.

 

If it’s helpful to you, please let me know by giving it a like or marking it as a solution.


PageFly #1 Shopify Landing Page Builder - Free to use, 24/7 Live Chat Support.


Hesitate to begin? Check out our top brands with successful stories with PageFly’s Case Studies.

CutOutWiz
Navigator
426 29 146

Hello @fefecosmetics 

Hope you are well. For an owner with very little experience, you have done a pretty good job. I must say your aesthetic eye is very keen.

Here are some areas where you could consider working on

  • A good idea is to have your newsletter as a popup so that it shows up when the customer enters the home page. This will make it more visible and attract more people to your newsletter from where you can target more interested people.

  • Add a sticky header. The headings are important to navigate the site. If the headers keep disappearing, it makes it hard to find what the customer is looking for. That is why if you make your headers sticky, the user can see them even if they have scrolled down, which makes the site more user friendly.

    You can also consider making your headings a bit bigger or bolder, so that they catch the eye more easily.

  • It is a good idea to place a banner on the homepage that tells your customers exactly what they are looking for. You may add a separate banner for each of your product types

    Your banner looks very good and matches your theme and product. Consider, however, adding a Shop Now button to your banner, which will take you directly to the relevant product page.

    It is a good idea to have multiple slides on your banner (each should stay for around 5seconds) for each product type and have the CTA buttons for each slide redirect the customer to a different product page.

  • People always don’t know everything about a product beforehand. When they see a product or show interest in a product, they want to know more about the different aspects and specifications of the product. If product descriptions fail to provide people with enough information about the product and fail to create an appeal for the product, the visitors won’t buy the product. So, provide elaborate and appealing product descriptions to every product to increase your sales.

  • You will be surprised how much you can benefit from a chatbot. It can collect your necessary customer data, help you analyze which stuffs are trending or in more demand, and overall solve your problems by answering common questions so you won't have to.

Hope this helps you. If you find it useful, leave a like to let me know! Happy Selling! Thank you and the Very Best of Luck to you!

If you found this helpful, leave a Like to let me know.
If this answers your question, please rate this as an accepted solution 🙂

M, from the Business Development Team of
Cutoutwiz
LuckyDanny
Shopify Partner
352 67 211

This is an accepted solution.

Hey there, @fefecosmetics!  

Great question, and you’ve come to the right place. Before I answer your question, I have another question: What is your goal for the About Us page? 

Traditionally, About Us tells the story behind your brand. It explains who you are, what matters to you, what you do, and how you do it. Remembering your goal of the About Us page will give your content writer more instruction.

Right now, this reads more like a blog post or a mission statement. It’s not that this is poorly written, but it’s not a fit for the About Us page. These can be sprinkled throughout your homepage, landing page, product pages, etc., in some fashion. 

Instead, I would try this: Focus on your goal. Why did you create FeFe Cosmetics? If that’s your photo, I would recreate it in a more approachable way and not as posed. Tell your story. 

Something like (I took some creative liberties since I don’t know your background): 

FeFe Cosmetics was created by three makeup-loving best friends who share one goal: Help anyone and everyone use makeup to flaunt their unique individuality and boldly enhance their own natural beauty. To accomplish this, we’ve assembled a team of makeup enthusiasts who know the power of that perfect red lipstick or a killer cat eye. They work hard to find and procure makeup that meet our high standards to provide everything you need to be a more confident, powerful you. 

Obviously this may not be your story, but the point is to paint more of a picture of who you are rather than what you do. Disclosure: I had to get help from my wife, because I know nothing about makeup. 

Back to the point - SHOW a picture too. Bring it full circle. When you tell people what you want them to feel, you’re missing that people come to the About Page to learn about YOU.  Tell your story. This is the chance to share your background. 

I hope this helps! Good luck!

Cheers - Danny

I’m the co-founder of Lucky Orange, one of the top recommended Shopify apps to grow sales. More than 26,000+ merchants use our app and have left us more than 600 5-star reviews.

We’re also proud to be a Shopify Plus partner.

-Was my response helpful? Click Like to let me know!
-Was your question answered? Mark it as an Accepted Solution!
fefecosmetics
Excursionist
27 2 6

This is an accepted solution.

Thanks for the information Dirk. After reviewing the guide I agree with you, the wording is okay but the layout definitely need improvement. I will work on this or have someone organize it better for me. Thanks again, this was very useful.

fefecosmetics
Excursionist
27 2 6

Thanks for the feedback, it was very informative. Your years of experience shows 🙂

The example "about us page" was superb! I needed that visual. I'll be sure to check out PageFly. But, before I do is this something I have to manually do myself or some expert could do it 🙂 Just wondering.

I'll be sure to mention the discount on the footer's newsletter you advice makes sense. Thanks for letting me know about the affiliate form anc shopping cart. I'll reach of to both creators.

Can you elaborate more on the "s buttons" you suggest are not useful and could be confusing to visitors? I'm not sure of the 3 buttons.

Last, the shipping promotion is in the announcement bar at the top, well that's where I thought it was. I'm replying to feedback before checking. But, I'm almost for sure its there. You mentioned to make it more visible? Does that mean the announcement bar is too small?

Also, I have images to upload on the product page as well as the about me page. I used a few props just because.

Again, thanks for the feedback and I look forward to hearing from you again.

I'm going to respond to some feedback and head over to PageFly. I'm interesting in see whats its about. 🙂

Best,

fefecosmetics
Excursionist
27 2 6

Hey there! Thanks for the feedback. I have a ton of questions but I won't lay them all out on you right now :). Good idea about the newsletter pop. Can you tell me more about a "sticky header"? I gather from your input that this will not disappear. How can I change my header to a sticky header? Do you have a visual of a banner you're referring to?. The chat box has been on my mind. However, I was concerned about not being available when a visitor reached out. However, I am thinking about incorporating a chat.

 

Thanks again and i look forward to hearing back from you.

Best, 

fefecosmetics
Excursionist
27 2 6

Thanks Danny! Thanks to your Wife as well

 

I agree it looks more like a blog. I think I got it now, it should be short and sweet. Easy on the eyes and easy to read. No that image is not me, just a filler. Your input was great and the example you used was just what I needed. I need examples and visuals, so thanks for that. Well looks like I have some work to do or someone to hire 🙂

 

Thanks again, this has been truly an eye opener and I'm glad I asked for feedback.

Best,