I appreciate your response on this but unfortunately that isn’t the case. The items already have 0 weight, and are already unmarked as being a physical product so they will be treated as a digital product or service. Since nothing on our site is conditional on weight, and it is only the order total that is used, that is not our solution. Nothing on our website has a weight, even items which are a physical product. Weights are never used during the order calculation process on our store.
As far as I can tell, there is no way to do what I want to do, and there is no workaround for it within Shopify. Again, thank you for trying to help me out with this situation. I appreciate it.