Sooo, I’ve been overthinking and having too much coffee…
We’ve all been battling these weird bot sessions — fake add-to-cart events, bloated analytics, spammy user profiles flooding customer accounts. And what does Shopify do? Nothing. Multiple reports, escalations, even external white-hat security teams can’t get their attention.
But guess what Shopify is focused on?
Their “new customer accounts” system — the one no one asked for.
So here’s the tinfoil-hat theory:
What if all this chaos is designed to force adoption of Shopify’s new customer accounts?
Think about it:
- Legacy accounts are being swarmed with fake users.
- Fraud data is bloating CRMs and ad platforms.
- Checkout sessions are getting weirder and more disconnected.
- And the only “solution” Shopify might eventually support? Yep, new accounts.
- They get more control. You get forced to adapt. And in the meantime, all signs point to… silence.
Not saying this is happening. Just saying, if one were to try to sunset a legacy system no one wants to give up, creating instability around it would be one way to do it…